19! That’s the number of houses/apartments I have lived in since birth. 8 of those have been within the last 3 years. And that doesn’t include 3 dorm rooms and the countless number of summer homes for internships. On top of that, I went to 7 schools from K-12th grade. Moving and living new adventures is nothing new to me.
But in all of my years, I’ve never questioned where HOME was. It was wherever my parents where. I knew that if I had to go anywhere I could go to where they were. And technically that will always be true. But over these last 3 years, this concept of HOME has been something I’ve really struggled with. We’ve all heard “home is where the heart is” and although that’s a nice little quote, my heart was all over the place emotionally these past 3 years and that made “home” something that was hard to grasp.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a joy and security in being wherever my husband and children are. But again, our many moves and life’s circumstances made it difficult to feel like I was truly HOME. I realized this when we moved for a short time to Tennessee to be near my family. We were there for only a few months when I realized I had lived most of my adult years in Michigan. That made me think I would feel more at home there. (don’t worry Mama and Daddy wherever you are will always be a place I love coming home to). And then out of nowhere God graciously called us to serve in ministry back in MI. I was thrilled b/c it was the HOME I thought I was searching for. And although we cherish our time over these past 2 years, there was still this unsettling in my heart.
When we decided to move to Pittsburgh so Eddie could go to school, I was terrified. Not so much for the move (been there done that), but b/c I thought I would never feel like I was HOME again. I didn’t just want this for me, but for my husband and kids too. Moms set the tone for home life and I knew that any unsettled feelings I was having would have a direct affect on my family. But as always, God has been so gracious to us. And even more specifically to me. We have lived here for 1 month! And I have to admit that I am feeling more settled than I have in a long time. Being the analytical person that I am, I had to ask the question, WHY? Why am I more settled than in years past. How can I have this much peace when there are so many unanswered questions regarding our future?
Unbeknownst to this inner struggle, a great friend sent me a text over the weekend. She knows our story and thought the verse might encourage me. (Thanks SS) It was Psalms 90:1
Lord, through all the generations you have been our home! (NLT)
So here’s what I’ve learned and what was confirmed in this verse. I can be anywhere anytime and it is in Christ that I will find my HOME. My husband, kids, house, and stuff are merely blessings that have been given to me by a loving and gracious Father. We are in the center of God’s will for our lives. It’s scary at times. Lots of uncertainties. But I know we are where we are supposed to be. And with that certainty comes a sense of HOME. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this!
Matthew 6:21 says “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” My treasure is in Christ! In His Word! He provides a dwelling place that is truly my HOME no matter where I live. I guess with this in mind, HOME really is where the heart is….when you’re Heart is focused on Christ!
Lord, through all the generations you have been our home!